Since writing this post, all motivation and desire to write has been nonexistent. My thoughts are flooded with doubt anytime I let my guard down. I think that’s why I quit writing consistently several years ago. I recognized that all of the things I wanted to say had so much to do with things I was learning in my personal life and, quite frankly, it’s exhausting to live it and write about it in real time. As a result, my attitude toward writing is oftentimes a hard no and I avoid it. I also rarely have quality time for this. It’s easy to procrastinate on something that no one is making me do and has seemingly no immediate benefit, when there a million other things in my life that must be done. But, I’m not a quitter. I would just rather approach my writing life in an organic way instead of being goal-oriented, if that makes sense. All that to say, The Weekly Variety is weeks late. But I’m not sure anyone noticed, lol.
Speaking of writing, or just being a creative person in general, I really appreciated the encouragement of these words from The Gospel Coalition. It’s what I needed to read in light of being jaded and doubtful of what I’m doing in my writing. It also affirmed the desire for my writing to be organic and not forced. I’m just here to faithfully steward the gifts God has given me, even though my attempts are flawed and I don’t meet my writing goals—whatever those are.
“He didn’t pause in his answer: ‘Your work is an offering to the Lord, and your job is to walk as faithfully as you can with what you have to offer,’ he said. ‘What the Lord chooses to do with the finished product is according to his will, not yours.’”
Ben Rector has a new song, “Color Up My World”. A banjo with bluegrass vibes. On repeat. Nothing more to say here.
I helped my youngest build a cafe in the woods by our house last weekend, including chucking cement blocks down a steep hill to build a table with scrap wood. It felt like training for some ridiculous body building competition, for which I would need more training than my body can handle. But, it’s all worth it for this plate of woodsy goodness. Chicken tenders with a side salad topped with dressing and berries. This little area where she built her cafe is one of my favorite parts about where we live. When I feel discontent in our small, outdated house, this spot in the woods grounds me.
What you put at the front is what keeps me going to school every day. It’s hard. Really hard. The kids are broken and hurting. BUT I know it’s where He has me. Even on the days I want to throw in the towel and teach kids more like mine. Thanks for letting God use you to remind me yet again. ❤️